Crazy Thoughts Part One
While surfing the web I came across this website and I decided to answer some of life's great mysterious while there, here they are.
Why do child labor laws not prohibit children from acting in movies?
Child labor laws deal with unfair treatment of children, do you really think it is unfair to pay a kid millions of dollars to star in a movie?
If a baseball player hits a home run over the fence, but then dies before he can run around the bases, does the home run count?
Eh, they’d probably give them a pity point.
Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?
WHAT!? My parents never did that.
If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
How big is a crumb?
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
I imagine they would keep pissing.
Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
No it wouldn’t go with their attire.
When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
Uhhh when all people are in pain it is funny.
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
No one else uses it?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Nah people dig them up afterwards to get the coffin back, there expensive.
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
If the SWAT team came to your house I doubt you would ever return to it.
Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
Isn’t that what’s for?
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
I can.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Hey! You copied that from Calvin and Hobbes.
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Hey! You got this idea from the question above.
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Sounds right.
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
I dunno, someone want to do that and get back with me on that.
Why do child labor laws not prohibit children from acting in movies?
Child labor laws deal with unfair treatment of children, do you really think it is unfair to pay a kid millions of dollars to star in a movie?
If a baseball player hits a home run over the fence, but then dies before he can run around the bases, does the home run count?
Eh, they’d probably give them a pity point.
Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?
WHAT!? My parents never did that.
If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
How big is a crumb?
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
I imagine they would keep pissing.
Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
No it wouldn’t go with their attire.
When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
Uhhh when all people are in pain it is funny.
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
No one else uses it?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Nah people dig them up afterwards to get the coffin back, there expensive.
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
If the SWAT team came to your house I doubt you would ever return to it.
Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
Isn’t that what’s for?
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
I can.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Hey! You copied that from Calvin and Hobbes.
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Hey! You got this idea from the question above.
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Sounds right.
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
I dunno, someone want to do that and get back with me on that.
posted by Achilles at 9:14 PM
