Odd Adventures at Kilwin's

As some people know, I have recently got a job scooping cones at Kilwin's, which is an ice cream shop (no shit). And as the days roll by we get odd encounters and funny things that happen to us while we are working. Such as a Russian lady comes in and says to a co-worker "you have very pretty eyes" WTF? Anyways that is a semi-funny but more weird story, but the other day a lady came in although for the sake of the "nicer" lady that came in with her I will call her bitch1. So now that the plot line is set lets get a storytelling. It was a hot and sunny day and the fudgies kept rolling on in. From the families to old couples. It was a mediocre day with mediocre fudgies, untill... the inevitable happened, a crazy old couple came in (in case they were friends). They came in asking obvious questions and basically, one, being a bitch. So here is the conversation as I remember it.

Characters: Me, Adam (coworker), Eric (coworker), bitch1 and friend (of bitch1)

Bitch1: You guys really need some chairs and tables in here so we can sit down.

Adam: Yes that would be nice but we don't really have the space to have those.

Bitch1: Unimportant complaining.

Friend: Oh don't mind her (chuckling) she's spent too much time out in the sun.

Kilwin's Staff: Friendly chuckling along.

Bitch1: Now friend (when reading put old person name in) I'm treating so get whatever you want. *Now that alone was a surprise* *also that bitch1 had a friend*

Friend: Ok (looks at me) give me whatever is most expensive (more chuckling)

Kilwin's Staff: More friendly chuckling along.

Bitch1: Ok i'll have the Praline Pecan.

Me: (Politely) Alright would you like a cup or a cone?

Bitch1: (Looks at me like I'm stupid) A cone.

Me: (Getting agravated) What kind of cone would you like, a waffle, sugar or a cake cone?

Bitch1: (Looks pissed) A waffle.

Me: Ok (Scoops and gives it to her)

*At this point both have their ice scream and are about to pay*

Me: Alright that will be (enter an outrageous price for ice-scream).

Bitch1: Uggg. How am I supposed to pay for this when there is nothing to hold my cone. At Ben and Jerry's they have places to hold them while you pay. They also have places for you to sit down and not be rushed out.

Me: (Now this is what I almost said. Note that I was very close to saying it and imagine a reaction to it) Well we aren't Ben and Jerry's.

Adam: We did have them but they made too much of a mess.

Friend: (Chuckling) Oh Bitch1 you need to relax.

*At this point they had paid and I had gone to wash my hands*

*While Bitch1 was putting away her money*

Friend: Oh aren't you going to leave a tip, they did a good job.

Bitch1: (After the trouble and pissed off i made them) Hell no am I leaving a tip. They were very mean to me and laughed at me well I suggested a ice cream holder.

After this we all exclaimed how much of a bitch she was to us. WE LAUGHED AT HER SHE SAID? WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT LOOK LIKE WE ARE, FUCKING BEN AND JERRY'S? AND IF SHE'S TELLING US THAT WE WERE LAUGHING AT HER WHAT THE HELL KIND OF A FRIEND DOES SHE HAVE, WE WERE LAUGHING WITH NOT AT. AFTER ALL THIS THE ONLY EXPRESSION I HAVE FOR IS... WHAT A BITCH!

Now I wish I could say that this story is over but it is not. Later that day the nice one came back in and, well you'll see...

"Friend": Oh I just came back in for some napkins. You know if my friend tells you boss what you did to us we will get all of you fired.

"Friend"=BITCH2

AFTER THIS EVERYONE WAS SAYING WHAT THE FUCK, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE NICE ONE WHAT HAPPENED. THEN WE STARTED TALKING ABOUT RICH FUDGIES WHOES HEADS WERE SO FAR UP THERE ASS'S THAT THEY HAD NO IDEA THEY LIVED IN A REAL ONE INSTEAD OF AN ANNAL DWELLING ONE. Now maybe it wasn't them, maybe it was us. Or maybe I'm just not a people person, you be the judge.

Got a story about bitchy fudgies....well I'm still fuming about mine so go find someone who gives a fuck.